What’s Driving Your Leadership – Fear or Purpose?

Fear or Purpose - it’s ultimately up to you

This week I had the opportunity to sit down with a past coaching client and have a cup of coffee.  I was very excited to hear his news, he’d recently made another career transition and at age 48, is joining the Austin police force.  VP of operations to organizational development and now public safety – it’s been quite the ride!

I was eager to hear all the details.  He told me about the rigorous training at the academy, all the new skills he’s learned, how difficult it was especially at his age, how many times he thought about giving up.  As I watched him speak, he was simply glowing – so excited about the challenge, his new career path, his increased strength and resilience, the fact that he could put transferrable skills to use in a completely different way that could really make a difference. 

We get disconnected from purpose easily

I think it’s easy to get disconnected from purpose and that sense of joyfulness that underpins why we want to do the things we do.  Maybe we find ourselves on autopilot after a while, a human doing living another mundane version of Groundhog Day and then start teetering on the edge of burnout.  Or perhaps fear takes over and our leadership becomes an exercise in not making a mistake.  We find ourselves second guessing every decision, excessively worrying about making a mistake.  We become fixated on outcomes and targets as the only measure of success.  We spend time worrying about our reputation, who likes us and who doesn’t.  All very human and all part of the journey.  When we find ourselves off track in these ways, it’s a sign of where we need to grow and develop as leaders.

2025 has been one of those years for me.  I’ve taken on several new and challenging client engagements, and to some extent, I’ve gotten caught up in what I often refer to as the “doing” of leadership.  Am I doing this right?  Are my stakeholders happy?  Have I dropped the ball?  Was that comment articulate enough?  Are they getting the right outcomes?  Did I add enough value? My head was most likely in one of these places when I walked into the coffee shop that afternoon.

Reconnecting to purpose is a practice

“I channeled my inner Shelley,” he told me at one point in the conversation.  I was touched so deeply by that comment.  It’s been years since we’ve worked together – I certainly had no hand in his recent career transition.  But the work we did years ago was powerful and transformative, it was geared at rebuilding his confidence after a setback.  Then he told me about the work I had done with his teenage son to help him understand his strengths, the impact of which had shifted their family dynamic in a much more positive direction.  And his wife had taken inspiration from that experience to help other children in her role as a counselor for the city of Austin school system.

A couple of coaching engagements over the last few years had an impact that was so much larger than I ever could have imagined.  I started thinking of all the children his wife was helping by helping them understand and leverage their strengths.  And all the people he will help as a police officer due to his exceptional conflict management skills and the fact that he leads with empathy.  The impact starts to become infinite.  But it’s so easy to get disconnected from that when your head is filled with fear-based thoughts. 

As I walked to my car, I recognized something - we all need to be regularly reminded of the work we do and why it matters.  And it’s something that each one of us need to take accountability for.  It’s not a simple formula of just finding the right job or leadership role and then poof! – instant fulfillment.  Purpose is a daily practice, it’s not a one-off.  And it’s up to us to figure out ways to connect to it that keep us engaged when the going gets tough or tedious or mundane – because inevitably it will.  As leaders we must help our teams find ways to make these connections, because they don’t just happen automatically.  Connection to purpose is one of the most powerful fuels for a high performing team – it helps build trust, psychological safety and resilience.

Coaching Questions for Thought

·      How often do you think about why you do what you do as a leader and manager? 

·      How do you help your team connect to the greater impact they make?

·      If you and your team felt more connected to a sense of purpose, what would be different? 

 If you’re ready to move your leadership from reactive to grounded, purpose-based leadership, Synthesis Leadership offers a structured path forward.

Shelley Pernot is a life and leadership coach who is passionate about helping her clients heal burnout and lead from a place of purpose.  She is particularly adept at working with high performing women perfectionists at risk of burning out.  Reach out to me here for a free consultation to learn more about the coaching process and how it may benefit you!