Goals vs. Aspirations: Why Great Leaders Need Both
Over the course of my life, I’ve had no shortage of goals: writing a book, starting a business, running a program, hitting revenue targets, optimizing performance metrics, hitting KPIs. No matter the type of work we do, goals are important, and we’re constantly reminded of whether we’re exceeding them, meeting them, or coming up short.
Goals are valuable in moving us from point A to point B. They can create momentum when they’re crafted well. There are methodologies out there, like AIM and SMART, that can be super helpful in crystallizing a goal and making it actionable. Chances are you’ve seen these tools or even used them at some point in your leadership journey. Maybe you use them now. Maybe you’ve encouraged your direct reports to think about them as they draft their performance and developmental objectives.
Goals are great. But they’re not the full picture.
But life isn’t just about the relentless pursuit of goals. I used to talk about this a lot when I was asked to speak about mindfulness. I would often equate it to a dog track. The dogs are loaded up into the cages, ready to run. Bettors are eager to place their bets. The shot is fired, and off they go! Around and around and around the track, in pursuit of...wait for it... a tiny mechanical rabbit.
The question I would ask folks is whether the dogs ever caught the rabbit. "Of course not," they would say. “That’s why the dogs run.” And I suggest this is how so many of us live our lives. It’s the modern-day equivalent of the human dog track, where we chase and chase and strive and strive to get to some outcome in the future. And when we finally get there, we find another goal to chase, and the race starts all over again.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with goals. But they’re not the full picture. Goals answer the question, What do I want to accomplish? Aspirations answer a different question: Who do I aspire to be?
It’s not just about the doing. Who do you aspire to be?
Lately, I’ve been focusing less on goals and more on aspirations. I’ve encouraged my clients to think about this as well, especially the leaders who feel they’re running on empty and are risking becoming a "human doing." Chances are you know that feeling of becoming robotic: getting up, running as fast as you can to get as much done as possible, only to wake up again the next day and do it all over again.
I often talk about this as the doing versus the being of leadership. The doing is what fills our calendars. The being is what people experience when they interact with us. The doing is important, but so is the being because it grounds us in the present moment.
I can’t "be" anything in the future.
I can only be now.
You don’t have to wait to be.
There’s something refreshing about that, especially to a goal-oriented achievement junkie like me. I don’t have to wait to become a more compassionate coach and facilitator. I can be that right now: in the way I serve my clients, in the conversations I have with them, in the way I listen and hold space for their challenges, and even in the emails I send.
The feeling of accomplishment that accompanies that insight is incredibly real for me now because I’ve gotten much better at evaluating my life and performance not just based on outcomes, but on how I’ve shown up along the way.
And so, how are you showing up? Is it the curse of the mechanical rabbit? Or is it something else?
If you aim to be a leader who balances empathy with accountability, are you living that day to day? Chances are you have a point of view on that, and your direct reports will too.
Goals will always have a place. They give us focus, direction, and momentum.
But perhaps the more important question isn't just, What am I trying to accomplish?
It's, Who am I becoming while I pursue it?
Coaching Questions for Thought
What goals are currently driving your attention, and what aspiration do you want those goals to serve?
When you think about the leader, partner, parent, or friend you aspire to be, where are you already living that aspiration today?
If someone who works closely with you described how you "show up" each day, what would they say? What would you hope they would say?
What is one small way you can embody who you aspire to be this week, regardless of whether you achieve another goal?
Shelley Pernot is a life and leadership coach who is passionate about helping her clients heal burnout and lead from a place of purpose. She is particularly adept at working with high performing women perfectionists at risk of burning out. Feeling a little stretched? Take the 3-minute Burnout Risk Survey to see where you stand. Reach out to me here for a free consultation to learn more about the coaching process and how it may benefit you!